No Big Deal

With the first child, everything seems to be a major deal whether that is their first word or first step or first anything. It is monumental. Which goes the same for any little problems that might arise with sleeping or eating or physical developments especially with newborns. Poor little ones, they have so much pressure on them from us parents who want them so badly to be perfectly healthy and on pace with what the normal charts say.

We went through about a year or more where my oldest child just didn’t eat much. She liked crackers, bread and fruit, that’s all. But she was gaining weight and growing just fine. Good thing for her, I had her baby brother to care for at the time so I was just happy when she ate something.

I had some really good advice given to me from a mentor mom and she said to never label your children. She had a picky eater but she never called her that, she would just say, “That child knows what she likes and wants”. Thankfully, I followed this advice and you know what? My daughter grew out of her picky stage. Does she eat everything I put on her plate? No. But she eats a lot more balanced and healthy now.

I have to wonder if it is in part because I did not make a big deal out of it at the time. In fact, I tried the same approach when she went through her “I want to wear a dress everyday” phase and “I want 2 pony tails in my hair everyday”. I just went along with it and didn’t fight it. Some hills are just not worth dying on and these definitely qualify under that category. She outgrew those phases quickly.

I intend to use this approach for the rest of my parenting days. Even if we go through things later like “Mom, I want blue hair” or “Mom, I want to shave my head.” Come on peoples, hair grows back! Obviously, there will be limits and rules while they are under our roof. But how much of our kids antics are just trying to express their independence of us, yes even at age 2! And once they get to do that, it just becomes not a big deal anymore. Like not playing the sports we want them to play or taking those music lessons we want them to take.

I want to raise my children to be separate from me one day, to launch them out into society as strong, capable and wise young people. And how much of that can be cultivated just by letting them express their own uniqueness different and apart from me all while under the covering and protection of my own home.

How many less battles would go on in our homes even if they decide to paint their nails lime green or want to only wear a camouflage hat for a year.

As long it is nothing permanently damaging, maybe it’s really no big deal.