Reframe, Retrain and Renew

I can make my husband sound amazing to you. I can list all of his best qualities, sweetest attributes and greatest characteristics. It would probably make a lot of women jealous and you might think, ‘I wish my husband did that or said that or was that way’. But then I can turn right around and tell you the negative things about my husband and I can make him sound awful. I can confide his bad habits, weaknesses and faults. And a lot of women might think, ‘Thank God I am not married to him, I don’t know how she deals with that or I am so glad my husband isn’t that way’. But you know what? He can turn around and do the same exact thing in regards to me.

This is also true for my own opinion of my husband at home. When I focus on all the positive things about him, I think, ‘I am so glad I married him’. I am warm towards him and he responds with warmth back to me. But when I focus on the negative stuff about him, I think, ‘Why was it again that I married him?’ and I treat him accordingly to my feelings and he wonders what is wrong with me!

Now, let me share something sweet and annoying about my husband all at the same time. He is very positive. He gives people a lot of grace and offers them the benefit of the doubt which can irritate this realist that he is married to. But I tell you what, it is great to be married to him because I can have a bad day and he just chalks it up to, she must not be having a good day.

He always thinks the best of me and says the best about me which causes me to bring forth my best. I want to do the same for him.

I want to learn how to reframe my thinking. Whenever I see a negative, I want to thank God for the flip side of that negative to make it a positive. So, I can constantly be thinking the best about my husband. For instance, if I get upset that he is working late again and missed a family dinner. I can stop right there and re- train my brain to think, ‘Thank you God that I have a husband who is a hard worker and thank you God that he provides for our family’. Or if he doesn’t want to order dessert or drinks when we are out to eat, instead of getting upset about it, I can think, “Thank you God that I will not consume as many calories while dining out.” Or how about “Thank you God for the ability to even go out to eat at all”!

Isn’t this exactly what the Bible is talking about in Philippians 4:8?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.”

And in Romans 12:2

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

Please God, help me to reframe my thoughts, re-train my brain and renew my mind about my husband so I am constantly thinking the best about him