How long will it take?

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Genesis 2:24

In perfect harmony and unity. But how long exactly does this take after you get married? How many months or years does it take to really feel like you are one? To put aside your former lives and families and become one unit.

My husband and I come from opposite sides of the United States of America. It’s a mystery and wonder to me how God brought us together across 3000 miles. God answered our prayers that we had prayed for each other for many years before we ever met. I feel like the Heavens opened up and the Angels sang ‘Hallelulia’ as we said our vows in front of 200 people. It was a beautiful day of celebration.

We have similar families and upbringings and share a common faith which is all very helpful. We were in our late 20’s when we got married and there was a lot of separate living we had done before.  We were getting a little set in our ways and had to learn real quick the meaning of compromise.

We had to keep reaching agreements and mutual understandings as we dug our way through the tunnels of oneness. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for couples who are from different countries or different decades in their age difference.

There is a lot of communication, unselfishness and commitment to make a successful union happen. We had many midnight conversations about the same things over and over again. Many times, we felt like we were speaking different  languages. Was it ever going to get easier?

Lots of prayer, tears and hard work were invested. It is a challenge for our flesh to become one with another flesh. Seriously, the painful tearing and ripping away of the old and the plowing and planting for the new life together is very time consuming . It seems so exciting before the marriage actually begins but then it becomes so tedious and exhausting once the marriage is under way.

Something happened for us around our 4^th year.  Something clicked and the tides changed and we started making a lot of upward progress. So much so that by our 5^th year, it was in full swing. The buds were blossoming and spring had come to our relationship. We felt knit together in our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies. Now we just celebrated 6 years and things are getting better than ever. I feel like we are starting to understand the inner depths of each other like no one else ever will get the opportunity too.

 But that is only because we are both committed to continuing this journey no matter what mountains we have to climb. Come hell or high water, we are in this together.

There is no better feeling than being one with your spouse but no one can ever tell you how long it will take.