Let Them Off the Hook

In light of Easter week, let’s talk about  a little something called Forgiveness. We have all heard that it is better for us to forgive than to harbor bitterness or resentment in our hearts against someone. They say it is like taking a poison pill all while hoping the other person dies. But how do we really forgive? Especially when someone has offended or hurt us deeply. Where do we even begin?

Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God loved us and died for us before we even asked for forgiveness. How many of us would die for the one who has wronged us?  Well, you might argue, I am not God. True that.

But we can start somewhere. Just a prayer. “God, thank you for your forgiveness of my sins, please help me to forgive my debtors of their sins against me. Help me to even want to forgive them. “

We have to want to free ourselves from carrying the heavy burden of unforgiveness on our shoulders. From eating up our insides.  They say time heals all things. I would say sometimes forgiveness takes time. It’s like planting seeds and waiting for them to grow into a big, strong tree. Sure, it can be a long process but the end goal should be for our own growth and peace of mind. Unforgiveness ties us to that person. We have to come to the point where we just want to forget and move on, so it doesn’t hold us back any longer. You can tell when someone is wrapped up with bitterness, the resentment seeps out of their words and tones. Their stories drip with self-righteousness and condemnation. I have been there, done that.

The truth is, if we say God lives in us, than we actually do have all the power we need to be able to fully pardon someone else. We can only give that of which we already have within us. It is because He loved me and forgave me of my sins that I can turn around and be able to love and forgive someone else.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we will be “Besties” with our offender. And it doesn’t mean that they are right, it just means that I am not waiting for anything from them in return and I am not sitting around slandering their name. Because let’s face it, hurt people turn around and hurt other people. There is probably a good reason they are the way they are. We can pray God’s blessing and healing into their lives. Who knows? God might even use us to show them His love! Forgiveness is powerful even if the other person never acknowledges it.

In the grand scheme of things, I really have only had to forgive the regular minor atrocity's of life like lies, gossip, jealousies, and the such but not any serious crimes or major traumatic offenses done against me. I do not even pretend to know the journey those who have to deal with forgiveness on a whole other lever have to embark upon.

All I know is that when I try to be the Judge, Punisher and Avenger for someone else, I am miserable. It drains all of the energy out of me, leaving me empty. But when I let God be God and do His job, I don’t even give those other people much space in my daily thought life. I have room in my heart to give love in a deeper way to those in my life who love me in return.

Forgiveness feels like a breath of fresh air, like someone untied the ropes restricting my heart, like a relief to my mind and peace to all my senses. Like a freedom to fly above all the offenses so they can’t hold me down.

All because I simply make the choice to let them off the hook.