The Perfect Mom

I often compare myself to other moms. I know I have my strong points but I wonder if the lacking in my weak areas will negatively affect my kids for the rest of their lives. I am good at planning and organizing, structure and schedules, teaching biblical principles, scripture memory and efficient in getting all my house work done.  But I am not good at creativity, art projects, innovative cooking and snacks, playing for long extended amounts of time and the list goes on.

I just pray their “art projects” at church, bible study and other programs will be sufficient enough for their creative side to be stimulated. I don’t like play-doh, paint and pretending to be a princess. I give them a crayon and paper and say, “Draw me an animal.” Isn’t that good enough?

Is it really possible to be good at everything? I don’t want to limit my kids or stifle their growth in any way. Maybe that’s what the mom network is for, to do life together. If anyone wants their kids to learn bible verses and bible stories, bring them over to my house. Or if you want help with a schedule, give me a call. And if anyone wants to invite us over to do some spiffy art project, let’s do it! Or if you want to send me some great and easy recipes, please do!

The older I get, the less I know. But I know one thing for sure. God made me specifically for my kids. He designed my kids with me in mind. Somehow, He will sovereignly make up for all my weaknesses to allow my kids to turn out as well rounded as possible.

 I was created to be the Perfect Mom for my kids.

Stay At Home Mom

This does not actually mean we stay in our houses all day, every day. We leave to go to the park, grocery store, gym, play dates, church, gymnastics class, swimming lessons, moms morning out, the mall, Target, etc.

But it does mean that our home is our place of employment, our job, our work, our office. And there are no high heels, nice clothes, or make up required. There are no awards, accolades, or achievements recognized. There are no salaries, bonuses, sick days or paid vacations.

There are a lot of diapers, poop, throw up, snotty noses, boo-boo’s and band aids. There is whining, crying, arguing, fighting, and back talking. There is little sleep or rest or time off.

When I go out to business functions with my husband and people ask me what I do, I respond with stay at home Mom. Sometimes, I can physically feel their respect for me plummet. They just give me that glazed over look with their eyes like they are placating me speaking for the moment in their presence.

Our society is backwards. We pay our athletes and actors an exorbitant amount of money that could literally feed whole nations for the rest of their lives. Let’s face it, they could end world poverty. And we pay our teachers and school coaches and pastors just enough to be above the poverty level. What the heck is wrong with this picture?

And then when you tell someone you are a stay at home mom, your status on the current monetary value system is ranked at the bottom next to a big fat zero.

We use money to deem how vital someone is in the role they play in this world. So, because some moms choose to forego a paycheck and not pursue their own dreams and decide to stay at home and raise children, some people might view that woman as not being intelligent or capable of achieving much success.

And yet we are shaping the future generation of this world. We are raising the next leaders and contributors to society. We are saying that our children are more important than any amount of money or achievements anyone else could give us. We are teaching young hearts how to care, we are modeling to young eyes how to act, we are molding young minds how to think. We are giving everything we have and all that we will ever be to someone else. To see them succeed. To send them out in society knowing they are loved, important and have much to offer to this world.

The cost of being a stay at home mom cannot be calculated with money. In fact, nothing of real value or eternal value can be weighed in dollars or gold.

Jesus gave His life away to pay a ransom for us. And people thought He was foolish.

“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”  John 12:24-25

Being a stay at home mom has a thousand deaths a day to die to myself. People might think I am foolish. But my choice of career will produce lives that will reap eternal rewards.

Next time someone asks me what I do, I will hold my head high and proudly announce, I am a stay at home Mom.

Outside My Four Walls

As a stay at home mom of toddlers, I am inside my house quite a bit. It is always shocking to me, when I do leave the house occasionally during the afternoon or evening hours, how much life is going on out there. I forget that I am in a very confined season where naptimes and bedtimes keep us indoors a lot  of the day. It can seem like the walls are closing in on me sometimes. In fact, if my walls could talk they would tell you there are times I feel lonely, depressed, overwhelmed, out of the loop, tired and bored of the mundane schedule.

For my sanity sake, it is important to connect with others throughout my day. It’s always nice to hear that other moms feel exactly the way I do sometimes. It is also good to know about  the challenges other moms are facing. And to stay in touch with what is going on in our neighborhood, church, and town.

When I am inside my four walls, I can get very self- focused, self-absorbed, and consumed with my own little life. When I get out into society, I hear stories that put my life in check and perspective. Moms going through major trials like divorce, lost jobs, sickness, accidents, disabilities, lost loved ones, and more.

It’s important that I go to moms groups and church and the gym and play groups so I can interact with others. As a new mom, you quickly learn that you need a support group as a life line to keep your head above water and survive in your new world and role as mommy. Isolation will kill you.

Being in community gives us opportunities to help other moms by either being a listening ear, or praying for someone or dropping off a dinner or planning a much needed girl’s night out. It makes me get out of my little box and comfort zone and focus on how I can bless others. It also serves as a good example to my kids in how to think about others rather than just ourselves.

It is essential to build community for when we are going through trials ourselves. So, you have a network to fall back on. Because let’s face it, we are all either going through a trial, getting out of one or ready to go into another one!

Lord, help me to get outside of my four walls as much as possible.

Life and Death, Blessings and Cursings

I don’t know about you but sometimes I have found the Old Testament of the Bible to be more difficult to read than the New Testament. Sometimes it does not seem to be as interesting or applicable to our lives today. But that would be far from the truth. The Old Testament is actually filled with stories about real people like you and me who had feelings, emotions, relationships and hardships. If we take the time to dig a little deeper than the surface and stop to reflect on what is going on between the lines, it is like finding nuggets of gold hidden in the black and white printed words. We might feel like they were people who were heroes and had faith beyond our reach but that would be incorrect. They are ordinary people who were called by God to do extraordinary things. They were murderers, adulterers, cowards, liars, and thieves. But God still used them. And we can learn a lot from their lives.

Sometimes we think following God is too confusing or complicated. But it’s not. This is one of my favorite passages found in the Old Testament.

“ …Obey the Lord your God and keep His commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

See I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers…”   Deuteronomy 30:10-20

Any questions? It is pretty clear, pretty cut and dry. Some people might ask, ‘So even though this is found in the Old Testament, does it still apply to my life today’? Oh yes my friend it does. I will not go into a deep theological explanation or an expository teaching of the New Testament on the matter today.

If you want to read more about God’s specific blessings on your life for obedience or His curses on your life for disobedience, you can find that in Deuteronomy 28. And if you want to read more about receiving prosperity in your life after turning to the Lord, you can find that in Deuteronomy 30:1-10.

It is interesting stuff and totally applies to our lives today. The choice is simple and it is ours for the choosing.

 Life and Death, Blessings and Curses.

Easier To Live With

As I get older, I see how people are evolving as they age above me or beside me.  Some do it with grace, poise and laughter. Some do it with a sense of entitlement, resentment and bitterness. Some people I just feel sorry for as I see their own demise unfolding at their own choices in life. Family and friends are distancing themselves further and further away from them.

And then I watch as some practice keeping their mouth closed, practicing self -denial and self- discipline, giving up their own wishes and living to serve others. Everyone wants to be around them, ask for their advice and know their secrets.

I can be high maintenance at times. I can be picky and difficult. I like to drink out of a cup with ice and a straw, I like to only stay in certain hotels, I like my house to be perfect when company comes over, I like to have my tea with 2 tablespoons of honey and my coffee with a lot of creamer. I am very particular about how to pack, travel and stay elsewhere with kids. I like to pre plan all the details. I like to abide to a strict schedule when it comes to sleeping and eating times. I tell myself this is all ok right now because it makes my family operate more efficiently.

But what about when it comes to things down the road like my kid’s choice of style or hobbies, or the college they choose or the mate they marry and the wedding of their desire. Then one day I will be staying in their homes and traveling to see them and hopefully playing with their kids.

I don’t want people to think I am too difficult and opinionated to have around. I guess I better start working on that stuff now. I can practice letting other’s have their way. I can choose to go with the flow better. I can try to just enjoy the ride instead of planning every moment ahead of time.

I want my friends and family members to want me around as I get older.

God, help me to become easier and easier to live with.