Cheating My Family

I love to get things done. My husband says I am the most efficient person he has ever met, not thrifty, but efficient. I am very task oriented and I fear that sometimes I can make my family feel like they are something else to be checked off my to do list. Yes, I am a list person. The kind who writes things down after I did them to add them to my list just so I can have the utter satisfaction of crossing it off. I hear there are others of you out there who share in this “disease” with me.

We have the daily chore list that consists of laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, etc. And the daily hopeful list of taking a shower, working out, quiet time with God, reading, watching a show, whatever.

Then we have an on- going list of extra projects around the house that need to be done. Things like ordering pictures, putting them in picture albums and changing pictures out to update the frames in the house and at husband’s office, re- organizing the home office and the garage, painting son’s wooden chair, packing away last season’s kids clothes, and you know how it never ends.

But then there are the out of the house commitments that need to be attended to as well. Meet with this girlfriend for coffee to talk, bring this one a meal, pray for that one, go to this women’s bible study and that married bible study, go to that park play date, go to this mother’s group, go to gymnastics class, serve at this volunteer organization, go to ladies nite.

Not to mention my passion right now is blogging. My husband says he has been replaced by a blog. That’s probably not a good sign. (Ahem, trying to do it at naptime by putting off the daily chore list.)

My family deserves the best of me and sometimes they get the leftovers. I give away all my energy to others for other things. Instead, my family needs to be my #1 priority with everything else trailing behind them. Where do they really rank in my agenda and to do lists?

Although the other things are good things, what if I forego everything else in life right now to just focus on them? Get rid of all other responsibilities but to them? Would my life be out of whack and out of balance? Is balance really achievable? Is what I am doing now effective?

In my attempts to help others, serve God and not lose my own sense of self, am I jeopardizing my only opportunity to be the best mom and wife I can be? Will I regret my time loss with them later in life?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. But God does. If you have figured it out, please let me know. But I have a feeling it looks different for all of us.

For me, I have had to realize that those extra projects will always be there and it really does not matter if they get done this week or this month or this year! They are not life and death.

I don’t want to be so bored left with nothing to do but ironing (I use Wrinkle Free Downy anyways!) and I don’t want to be so overwhelmed  by too much extra- curricular activities outside of the home. I want to be a whole mom with much to offer my family.

One thing I never want to be accused of is cheating my family out of the mom and wife they deserve.